The beginning of this entry comes partially out of confusion. What I mean to say I have often struggled with what I guess would be called a moral delimma when it comes to friends. Being a professor, many of my friends are professors--most of them are decidedly human like me, and thus are prone to the same weaknesses we see in our students--we see in them, (the students) the same hunger we one experienced, but with one difference--fear.
Let me see if I can explain. Many studies show that the generations coming after us, coming soon in 2016 and eventually 2017 will be a generation different from what we experienced--a generation different in many ways--this goes to say it seems extremely different from us. My mother and father were very active in my childhood, asmuch as I had teen ridden angst, and as much as I tried to push them away--as I struggled with a type of culture I don't see much the same today--let me be clearer. I was a lazy teen, and i was very lazy in school: this isn't to say i didn't have my own levels of creativity. Here is what I remember, and you can make your own thoughts of such.
I got bullied in school--incessantly I was picked on, which by the way, did not happen in the classroom--no that was one thing that was firm--students who disrupted class were removed--if they continued, they were removed and it stopped, due to numerous punishments--having taught in a highschool, i can tell you, i have seen many levels where that is different today.
One difference, is the use of cell phones. Student misbehavior in the classroom has reached an all time high. Phone use doesn't stop inside the classroom it continues--and after a while, i simply got tired of seeing it continue. I never thought i would be one to give up on it but for the four semesters I taught it was a losing batlle--the attention span of the senior students i taught coudn't be held and the behaviors I saw connected to the phone use were adamantly there to stay.
When I contrast this to when i was in high school i have no comparison--there is none, what-so-ever. Outside the classroom we weren't strictly monitored, but i have little memory of wandering the halls aimlessly--class was class, and it was in the in between times--lunch and the end of the day or some levels early morning when the bullying happened.
Bullying was extreme harrassment then, there was also physical violence--there were shoves--and pushes and the fight usually started with the first punch--so bullies were psychologically waiting for you to throw the first punch often times their out was when a harrassed kid started it, they could pull the innocent vibe. And you know what, that worked to their advantage--i was shoved a lot.
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I was taunted a lot and sadly, physical contact was made constantly on weaker students, and like most students, the bullied kept quiet. It was the 80's and what could a person say. They weren't watching students that closely. Also remember, what could you say?
"Mr. Mendenhall, this kid Brandon B keeps harassing me."
"Well is he physically touching you?"
"Well he bumps into me a lot and gives me an occasional shove."
"Show me."
After of course trying to show a larger man the effet of such a shove delivered of course by athletic redneck, whch was much faster, with much more force an with much more malice of intent--i failed to demonstrate the emotional effect such a attack had, and mr. Mendenhall's advice was the same.
"That didn't hurt."
Yeah, right, it didn't hurt him. It wasn't something he had to deal with on a daily basis.
"Just Stay away from Brandon." He would say.
Walk Away was the common catchphrase of the time.
But walking away was of course sometimes not an option. Other students would get in your way so when Brandon B would shove you, you'd collide into them--then usually there were one or two bullies there to then give you a shove back and tell you to "watch where you were going." Imagine if you will one of them spills something they are holding-- or drops something or if you manage to get shoved so hard you knock them down. Then you know, as usual the person who shoves you is not to blame, as usual, you are.
This of course doesn't remotely stop other kinds of bullying. Knocking your books out of your hands. Pantsing a person--which never ever happened to me--but imagine. Taking your hat from your head, if you have one, playing the god awful game of keep away with whatever these thugs could take from you, down to literally throwing something of yours in an area you cant get to--or breaking it.
Once on the bus, someone took my hat off my head, and then some kid took my hat and threw itI out the window. Its probaby safe to say that if this was a kid's phone--today, there would be repercussions?
Here's what all this comes down to--when i went to college--the level of bullying that i faced was not the same--it was basically understood that we were here to get an education and we did. I was never picked on again, don't get me wrong there were ominous shadows in the one fraternity I joined--but i made it clear that i would not be hazed or put down because we had a academic standard to uphold.
When I compare the bullying I went through, I am often reminded of where it originates--it happens online--the one place where you can usually be anonymous. I remember learning about bullying that was now being policed by schools--cyber bullying--bullying that had a lot to do with being outed by someone, or abused, or people sending pictures and all i could say was, "What the Fuck?"
Seriously, and i'm sure i'll get hit for this--the bullying here is about a person who willingly is tricked into revealing themselves or doing stunts. Come to think of it all i see now are a string of movies that have in part of their stories, the outing on the web, or facebook, or some social media sight--and with the recent Leslie Jones issue and Milo Yiannapolise, all i can see now is people who can't take two steps back and turn of the twinner--twitter has a function called block too--it's very easy to use. There are no mobs of students who surround you and won't let you leave. You can literally press a button and teleport away. And this cyber bullying--well it spits in the face of every kid who was ever not allowed to leave. Every kid who wass bullied through the 1800's to the year 2006. (I imagine bullying was always brutal--epecially when i read my Marcus Aurelius.)
I suppose it is a relief that i dont hear much of kids fighting in schools. In Texas, both kids go to jail--brilliant. In fact i was told that even if a 90 pound weekling gets beaten mercilously by a bigger, stronger kid--redneck thug, the weekling is equally culpable. I was even told that if he gets into a fight he better go ahead and try to fight--do as much damage as possible because he's still going to jail (the 90 pound weekling.)
To my shame I live in Texas and this is the most unfair thing i have ever heard of. It is a good thing I was born when i was born.
This brings me back to the subject of the phones. If my reasoning is right, bullying is now a war of words--to be sure it was a war of words before as well, but again with one exception--you can now get away, you can turn the phone off, you can turn it all off. We have substituted the phone for life. We have trained our children or let them have complete access, not only to communications, but music, film, television, cameras on a constant basis...and in school--and they don't switch off unless made to switch off
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